Overcoming Your Largest Obstacle

The Secret to Identifying, Facing, and Conquering Your Personal Beast

I’ve learned that to truly overcome our most difficult life task we must address the thing, thought, person, or memory we are the least willing to encounter…

One could compare this to a cave metaphor, seen throughout history contained in countless hero novels, where the brave knight overcomes unbelievable odds of an arduous journey and finally, suited in full armor, goes into the cave to fight the beast (dragon); which is somehow creating an ongoing disturbance in the knight’s world. Once the knight (if he does) face and destroy this beast, often gains the reward of a treasure. This treasure is something that is sacred, valuable, coveted by all, and nearly impossible to obtain.

Now, consider your own life, what would be the treasure you seek, which could allow you to truly be living in the present and enjoying the moment to moment. If there is something that is continually troubling you and polluting your view of the beauties of this world, then it’s time for you to identify who or what the beast is in your past or present and face it.

Let’s say that you already know what your beast is. It may be, “Having that tough conversation with your father” that you’re avoiding, or “Finally standing up for yourself to your boss who’s been taking advantage of you.” But, let’s say it’s something deeper, from your childhood, such as a traumatic event, which took away your light, the thing that you can really pinpoint from your past where your outlook on your ability to “grab the world by it’s horns” eroded. That is the beast I’d like to talk about here. That beast is one that we must face and — I would argue — the very thing that keeps us stuck in not fully believing in ourselves and limits us from becoming self-actualized. It’s time to identify what this beast is that’s keeping us stuck in the past, thereby limiting our future. How to I overcome this ongoing burden? The first step is simple, identify the first step in actually facing this problem, then do it. This may be like, clearing your schedule to make time to have a particularly difficult conversation. Then you will be ready for this next challenge…which is to actually defeat this beast forever.

To solve this arduous life task, I first will need to take you on a metaphorical journey. Where you are the knight, who’s finally worked up the courage to walk into your cave to face your beast. Imagine yourself walking into your cave, knowing full well what you’re about to face. Imagine you start into the cave and go deeper, deeper, into the darkness. The more you go the more your heart is pumping, the more you sense your hands shaking, but on you go…deeper into the unknown. Then finally, you arrive at the end of the cave, but it’s not what you expect. To your surprise, instead of finding your beast, you find a mirror. Next to the mirror is a pedestal supporting an old wooden box. Perpexed, your heart still racing, you approach the mirror and see yourself. You start to get a supernatural feeling of knowing that you’ve been here before, and look down at the box and open it. As it opens you notice cobwebs attached signifying it has been some time since whomever was here before placed these items in your cave. You reach into the box and pull out a folded letter. Opening the letter you immediately recognize the handwriting as your own. Your hands, still trembling, hold the letter firmly as it reads:

“I don’t know if you will ever read this, but I know I must write this to you.”

“This is a letter to my past, I am now old and my days are numbered, I have seen a great many things in my life and until now, in this moment, have never truly realized what I need to do in order to overcome my darkest crippling fears — face my beast.”

“Over the years, I’ve kept coming to this cave to face my beast, sometimes the beast takes the form of a dragon and breaths fire so much so that I can’t get in to the cave to face him. Other times I confront the beast only to see him scurry away. Others the beast simply sits there with his back turned to me, avoiding all possible chance of a glorious defeat. Lastly, and most often, the beast isn’t here at all; and that’s why I now write this letter to you.” I realize now, as you probably have already, that the beast I so feared has been me this whole time. I’ve been preparing for battle, ready to fight, and overcome any obstacles that face me, but all of them were things outside of myself. I’ve now learned the biggest beast of all, is myself. Look now into the mirror.”

You look into the mirror and see yourself, fully enthroned in armor head-to-toe, sword in one hand, letter in the other. You look down to continue reading…

“Now that you see yourself, know this…”

“You will face beasts your whole life, they will take many forms, and you will always have fear. But, this time you realize that you’ve faced your problems and the biggest one of all, yourself. Conquering your beast, being victorious is never the point. The point is facing your problems, your willingness to challenge them. The secret is, you will never fight the battles of the past on your terms, they will avoid, deflect, refuse, or reject you at every turn.”

“I came into this cave to fight these beasts over and over again, until I realized my beast was actually the largest blessing of all. It made me who I am today, a warrior, who no longer runs.” That is when I decided to place the mirror here.

“Now before I go, I want you to know something.”

“You’ve already won…the moment you took your first step in the cave you conquered yourself. The act of trying, despite your fear, is the very thing that freed you. We can become so distracted by what we think the battle (or process) should look like that sometimes we don’t realize that we’ve already won.”

“So, it’s time to free yourself. It’s time to stop chasing something outside of yourself to overcome.”

Write these things down:

The king of all beasts is me.

I went into my cave and conquered myself.

I now have the fears that once had me.

No problem exists that I won’t or can’t face.

I’m brave beyond measure.

Look in the mirror again.

You look into the mirror and notice there is a pen in your hand where the sword was. You look down at the letter and it’s blank. You realize you’ve changed, something that was there, something hard to describe, like “a feeling of being bottled up your entire life is now gone. Like you feel you can truly stretch to the point of satisfaction for the first time in your life.” You’re no longer scared of the cave. You hear the sound of a deep exhale behind you and you turn around. You’re shocked at what you see… The beast you originally thought you were going to face, is there in front of you, inches away. It’s still unsettling to look at. It’s not moving, not making any sounds, just breathing as a tamed beast who recognizes its master would. It doesn’t need to do anything, because you don’t need it to.

Now you turn your focus back to the objects in your hands. There is only one last thing you need to do, because you told yourself to do it. You decide to write yourself a letter. You tell yourself all the things you’ve experienced, and what your past self needs to do in order to stop living a life consumed by fear, regret, shame, or doubt. You finish the letter, hold it up close to your face, and as blow on the ink for it to dry, you feel all the remaining fears over the future leave your body. Then, for the first time in your life, you take in a deep breath of true personal freedom. And in that moment, you realize that you’ve completely healed.